HeyHiHello! My name is Lacey (:

Views and Current Thoughts of This Life

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 19:29:05 -0400

Hello, I am a teenager. I’ve made mistakes that ended good and bad-sometimes at the same time. I’ve told lies, screwed up, and did things I shouldn’t have. I’ve broken, fixed, and tried to mend others- as well as myself. Sometimes things haven’t went as planned and ended terribly, and sometimes they’ve ended wonderfully. I’ve planned futures only to have them crushed by one thing or another. I’ve cried in pain and in joy over numerous people. I was raised to be strong and “shake it off” ever since I was a baby. I was taught to never fear the pointless things, and have taught myself to fear only fear itself, if it can be helped. I was also taught that my parents won’t be here forever, and that really no one will be here forever. That’s why you can’t take people, time, or moments for granted- take advantage of every single second you have here. Who knows- maybe we’ll end up in heaven, or maybe we’ll end up back on Earth as someone else, or maybe, just maybe we’ll end up 6 feet under, turned to dust, ashes, or what have you. I don’t know. You don’t know. Live for today and tomorrow. I do know that the past is something I can’t change. I can’t change what I said, how I handled certain things, or what I ultimately did. I can’t change the things I hid from you, and are still hiding. I don’t want to. Secrets are secrets and I can’t do anything now, anyway. I’ve made and broken promises, and I know that every one of you has too. Overall, our past, our mistakes, and the people we surround ourselves with- shape us. I often times joke too much and don’t take certain things seriously. It’s annoying, I know! I laugh too much, and at the smallest things, and that is also annoying, I know! I can sometimes be slightly condescending, but it’s just so hard to not to be, and it’s impeccably annoying, I’m sure. I put pretty much everyone’s happiness in front of my own. I am a people pleaser. I apologize first and take the blame for basically anything and everything. It’s my past. It shaped me. I would so much rather take the heat because I don’t want to see anyone else down. I’m not down much, anymore. I can typically laugh things off or rationalize them to be fine. So blame me, please. I’m outspoken at times, and it gets me in trouble. I like leadership roles. I like talking in front of people. I like being the head of something. I like to help. I’m passionate about things. If I have an opinion, it’s a strong one! They change often, though, so watch out. I like facts. I like science and math. I like progress. I love people, sharing stories, and just talking in general. I like people who stand up for things. Think we shouldn’t have strict gun control? Think cheerleading is a sport? Think music and art programs have a right to not be cut from curriculums? That’s great! Stand up for it! If you can do that, I have a lot of respect for you. Music is important. Don’t just hear it. Listen to it. Feel it. Experience it as it enters your ears, your brain manipulates it, and it rushes through your body. Feel your heart grow heavy or light. Just feel. A big part of this life is experiencing and learning from it, whilst having fun. That’s what I’m here for. I’m here for success, eureka moments, and feeling whole. What are you here for?

This is a small rant

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 20:12:48 -0400

Yay, we get it, you’re going to prom

Yay, we get it, you have to look gorgeous for prom

Yay, we get it, you want to look the best for prom

But, in all honesty, if everyone thought looking normal was pretty, it would be so much better.

If people weren’t expected to be bronze, everyone would benefit.

Who is naturally that tan by the beginning of May?

Not many.

So why can’t we all just look natural?

Personally, I don’t think I belong here. I wish we were still in those times where women and young ladies carried parasols to shade themselves from the harmful rays.

I wish I had a pretty parasol to carry around.

I do promise this, though. You will not catch me in one of those death beds.

Hmmmm….

I think I want a tattoo. On my foot. It would be very meaningful, I promise. I have already mentioned it to my parents. I could probably get away with it. I’m not rushing anything, though.

After all,

I am just a rebellious teenager.

Ha,

What a joke.

What is this I don't even...

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 21:58:54 -0400

I’m not who I once was.

I’m not who I was 3 years ago — the innocent one who didn’t care what others thought. The truly happy one who was simply, simple.

I’m not who I was 2 years ago — the sad pessimist who thought she had been through so much, when she had experienced so little. The one who made many mistakes, and felt little remorse from them. The one who learned so very little from what she had done.

I’m not who I was over a year ago — the ready-to-move-on open minded happy one. The one who had been won over too many times, and kicked too many times. The one ready for whatever was to come.

I’m not who I was a year ago — the head over heels in love, happy one. The one who had everything going for her-friends, grades, a boyfriend, and volleyball. The one who forgot too much, and let too much get in the way.

I’m not even sure where I stand now. I’m stuck without a chance of anything. I’ve stopped caring about a lot, that’s helped somewhat. I’m happier without being scared of opinions. I’m starting to give people the benefit of the doubt, which is a little more positive, I suppose. I’ve had a look at my life, and I’ve noticed who has drifted, and who is there. It’s different than I would have expected. Life is everchanging…

….I’m just fearful I have already passed the best times of my life

Without even realizing it.

Sorry about this in advance

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:53:05 -0500

It pains me to say that a reason I don’t like to sleep is knowing that I must get up the next morning

"You only live once"

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:07:38 -0500

I’m going to apologize in advance for this rant, but it is something I must get out there.

So, since “you only live once”, you have an excuse to fill your body with toxins from illegal drugs? (I don’t care how many arguments you have for the debate over legalizing marijuana. It is ILLEGAL for a REASON!)

So, since “you only live once”, it is okay for you to bake yourself in bed full of cancerous rays?

So, since “you only live once”, you are okay with not only losing your virginity, but also possibly contracting STD’S, and being at risk for an unwanted pregnancy? (I don’t care how much you may “love” that person. Is that the only way you are able to show it?)

So, since “you only live once”, it is “so totally awesome” to NOT ONLY pump your body full of toxins from alcohol, but ALSO post pictures on Facebook for your family, friends, AND possible college/workplace advisers to see?

So, since “you only live once”, it is all right for you to do absolutely nothing in school, and have no goals for yourself for the future?

I understand the whole “You only live once, so you have to live to the fullest” philosophy. But honestly, does that life even matter if you ruin it for yourself?

I am often sickened by the people I am around day to day. I really can not explain my excitement for moving past all of this and going on to much better things.

Thank you, I appreciate you reading- if you read this

I feel enlightened.

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:00:02 -0500

I wonder how long this will stay.

The things that we are bothered by the most are often the things we contemplate the most which are...

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:53:31 -0500

The things that we are bothered by the most are often the things we contemplate the most which are ultimately the things we care about the most.

Sometimes things work out...and sometimes they don't

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:08:52 -0500

…and sometimes, you think they are working out, until reality slaps you in the face.

It says to you, “Who do you think you are being all super happy, when there are so many unhappy people in this world?”

And you don’t reply. Because how do you reply to that?

Maybe you’ll become really sad. Or maybe you’ll become really frustrated. Or maybe you won’t do anything, because you know its the truth.

You’ll learn to tell yourself that it will all get better. You’ll learn to tell yourself that it was fate just testing your belief in it.

Well, I’ll tell you what, “fate”. I believe you. I know you have a plan for me. I know that with your course, I’m making myself into the best I can be. I know I can get through the things you throw in my face. I know the challenges teach me something new. I like to learn, and I’m learning early. So thank you.

It just awes me how someone can walk right into your life and just make it so fantastic. And then, in the blink of an eye, just walk out, like its nothing. Like it was a freakin’ walk in the park or something. Well, thanks for the walk, my friend. It was nice while it lasted. The happiness felt good as you gave it to me. Thank you for keeping me in check. Thanks for being there, until you left. It meant something while it was there.

“Life is a stage and we are actors” Well, Mr. Shakespeare — Why don’t we give life a show to watch? Let’s make it the best yet. Teach everyone something.

Thank you, fate, for what you have shown me here.

I’m ready to continue on for whatever you may have in store for me. Whether it may be happiness, hurt, realization, inspiration, or just living, I’m waiting.

So let’s go.

Note: You really don’t know how much of an escape writing is until it happens.

Love you writing, always <3

There is so much more out there than- Good grades Technology Volleyball Being the best at...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 20:08:46 -0500

There is so much more out there than-

Good grades
Technology
Volleyball
Being the best at everything
Boys
Friends
College

Its just —I’m just—having a hard time seeing that.

While everyone else blames Ringgold...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:45:05 -0500

I’m going to blame 2012.

APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!

I'm stuck in some kind of dream world

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:38:05 -0500

And its fantastic.

This Christmas, was by far, the best.

No, it wasn’t because I got the most expensive, hottest, or best gift.

I found a meaning.

I found that true friends stay, no matter what. They don’t leave when they’re told something, whether it be a lie or the truth. They stay through it all. They cry with you. They become upset with you. They make things better for you. They stick up for you. They let you know what’s right and wrong. I found that once trust is existent between friends, it doesn’t go away.

I know people always say “I have the best friends ever”. But I truly don’t think anyone’s friends would go to the extent that mine have. After this week, I can honestly say they are here, and they aren’t leaving. And that, my friends, is what makes my friends unlike any others.

School is going well, with a ton of work of course. Stress is overwhelming, but it always turns out for the best in the end :)

Aaannnd of coursee…there’s this one boy <3 Who sorta kinda makes everything fantastic for me :)

Zip a dee doo da right now life is greattt :) <3

Sorryforthis”IKnowNobodyCaresPost”,

Laryssa Leee :D

ThatAMAZINGmomentwhen...

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 18:58:57 -0500

You get that overwhelming feeling that its all going to be okay, and you just want to smile forever

I'm growing up

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:16:50 -0500

And I don’t mean I’m starting to look different — or grow taller — or find more interest in politics and the economy — or even mature

But

I’m learning. I’m learning how to manage time and what is most important to me. I’m learning how to make myself pay attention. I’m learning how to excel in things. I’m not just getting those lucky A’s anymore. I’m actually learning, and retaining information. I’m learning how to speak better. I’m learning that in 3 years I will be the heck out of this place and no one will remember what I was wearing or how I looked. IF people do remember me, it will be for something much greater. Or hell, maybe everyone will forget me. Until of course, I do something great. Because I promise you, I’m going somewhere. I’m doing something great with my life. So watch me, I know you’ll be proud.

Let the people laugh. Atleast that means I’m good for something now. I’d rather be good for humor, even at my own expense, right now than nothing. Since, I’m trapped here living the monotonous life as every other high school student. Sure, we’re all a little “different”, but heck, we’re all worried about the same things — college, relationships, sports, blah blah blah.

So now, I often find myself asking “Who even cares?” before I do or say something. “Omg did you hear about *insert name here*???” “Who even cares?”
“Omg what are you wearing to *insert important event here*??” “Who even cares?”

Ehhh wonder when I’ll actually mature. Don’t see that happening anytime soon. I love screaming and being crazy too much.

Thishasbeenaranting’nobodyevencares’postby

Yours Truly.

One day, happiness will knock on your door. And you’ll be too busy trying to find that...

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:59:20 -0500

One day, happiness will knock on your door.

And you’ll be too busy trying to find that happiness,

For that is what you’ve been wrapped up in.

You will then say, “Go away, I’m looking for happiness”

And so it will go away.

Aloft!Things are going to be okay As the scenes replayI can’t tell you of the disaster...

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 01:31:00 -0500

Aloft!
Things are going to be okay
As the scenes replay
I can’t tell you of the disaster we’ve created
Because its not what I intended
Refleter
As I may
And glance
How many times has it been, perchance?
Not enough, we agree
And soon I see
This where I want to be
Aloft!

Note: Refleter is the French word for “to reflect”

and

“-er” on the end of a word has an “ay” sound.

I'm not 100% happy right now

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:18:17 -0500

But maybe, indeed, in the near future

With time

I’ll be there.

Because right now,

I often get these feelings

Of knowing that its right there.

And

Sometimes,

I get these feelings thinking I have it already.

And then,

Indifference starts in.

But somebody, right now,

Has got to learn to reach without looking,

And take a risk for once.

Then, and only then,

We will see where happiness is

And if it has found the right place.

Fin.

Or, of course, I’m just a screwed up kid who thinks too much. Yea. I like to think I’m more of the former, but some signs point to the latter.

Ehh who really cares. Just go along where the winds whisk you and don’t fight it, because you only grow tired.

Ahh so obsessed with this one and the original <3 Hmmm :)

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:16:24 -0500

Ahh so obsessed with this one and the original <3

Hmmm :)

Writing

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:55:50 -0500

Writing

Never let your grasp on life go

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:22:25 -0500

Because when you do, it really does go.

And by go, I mean leaves.

And you won’t realize it then.

But looking back, you will.

I promise.

And you’ll never get it back.

And you’ll regret, a lot.

I would tell you the truth

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 21:02:43 -0500

But I don’t even know the truth myself.

I’m really upset

But I can not tell you why

Because I don’t even know myself.

I know that it will all turn out fine in the end

Because it always does

Nothing is better than a little hope

When there seems to be nothing but despair.